


Someone to Lose

by ghostextremist



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Minor Dorothea Arnault/Ingrid Brandl Galatea, also ashedue and mercie/annie are there but idk how prominently they will be shown just yet, dimitri still has an eyepatch bc I said so, slightly older than post time skip ages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26393788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostextremist/pseuds/ghostextremist
Summary: “Look, I kind of said it was someone everyone knows… maybe you could—”“No. Ask again, and I’ll kill you.” Felix deadpans, not even looking up from the screen.“Listen, man, I don’t have a lot of options here. Other than you, the only other option is DImitri. DImitri! There’s no way he can pull off a scheme like this; he’s too honest.” Sylvain pauses, mulling over the idea, “But… if we practice a little, it can’t go too bad.” he muses, pulling his phone out of his pocket.Or: Sylvain invites himself and his boyfriend to a couples retreat. Only, he doesn't have one. Luckily, hedoeshave Dimitri.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 22





	Someone to Lose

A dry spell. That’s all it is. 

Sylvain sighs, exiting his apartment unit. _Just a dry spell,_ he repeats to himself. _Nothing a night at the club can’t fix._

On his way out of the complex, he spots Dorothea walking down the street. _Perfect._

“Dorothea!” He greets, “You, me, Ingrid. A night into town. How about it?” 

“Oh, Sylvain, you know how much I love our little outings, but Ingrid and I need to be well rested for when we head to the retreat.”

“Uh. Retreat?” 

“Didn’t we tell you?” Dorothea questions.

At Sylvain’s confused expression, she decides to explain, “Me, Ingrid, Ashe, and Dedue are going on a couple’s retreat for a week. It’s at some lakeside lodge in the mountains; I know Ingrid would want to go fishing at the lake, but I would just love to cuddle in front of a warm fire with her, sing to her as we gaze at the stars above.” she sighs contentedly.

“Okay, you’re getting that dreamy look in your eyes again. I get it; you guys are never leaving the honeymoon phase and will be happy until the end of forever,” he teases, “but first things first: why wasn’t I invited?!”

“Uh, hello? Sylvain, sweetie, you heard me say this is a _couples_ retreat, right? As in, you have to have a partner to go with.” she chuckles.

“Yeah, so how come me and my boyfriend weren’t invited?” Quite frankly, Sylvain doesn't know why he said this, but it’s too late to take it back now.

“You and your what? I didn’t realize you were in a relationship right now.” her eyes widen in surprise. “Although, it has been a while since you’ve taken anyone home with you.”

“Well, he likes to keep things on the downlow, y’know? He’s… shy. Never really dated anyone before and doesn’t know how to be public about it.” Sylvain quickly lies. “But he’s someone we all know well, so I think he’ll be okay with you guys knowing about us.” _Why would I say that?_

“Just who is he, this _mystery man_ of yours?”

“You’ll have to wait until the retreat to find out.” he winks.

“Ah, I love a good surprise. This’ll be perfect, actually, because we booked three rooms, but Annie and Mercie had to back out last minute. When you book as a group, you can’t cancel reservations on individual rooms, so you guys can take theirs!” Dorothea claps her hands together as she remembers the information. 

“Oh, I can’t wait to tell Ingrid the big news! I have to go now and finish packing for the drive up there. I’ll text you the details later, ‘kay?” she waves him goodbye as she continues down the street, more pep in her step than she had beforehand.

Sylvain stands on the sidewalk for a few moments, the conversation he just had finally sinking in. “Fuck.”

* * *

“Felix, emergency!” Sylvain rushes back inside his apartment. He finds his roommate lounging on the couch, playing a game on his Switch.

“You’ve been gone for five minutes. What trouble could you have possibly gotten into?”

Sylvain runs a hand through his hair, embarrassed. “I might’ve told Dorothea I had a boyfriend on the DL, and now me and my totally-not-fake man have to go to a couples retreat. Tomorrow.”

“How the hell—why would you say that?!” Felix looks up before returning his attention to his game.

“I don’t know! I haven’t gotten any in a couple months, and she was talking all dreamily about her relationship and how she, Ingrid, Ashe, and Dedue are going to spend a week together at some romantic getaway and I just wanted to be included, okay!” Sylvain took a breath, having spouted his explanation in one go. “And now, I need a fake boyfriend.” 

Suddenly, his face lights up. “Look, I kind of said it was someone everyone knows… maybe you could—”

“No. Ask again, and I’ll kill you.” Felix deadpans, not even looking up from the screen.

“Listen, man, I don’t have a lot of options here. Other than you, the only other option is DImitri. DImitri! There’s no way he can pull off a scheme like this; he’s too honest.” Sylvain pauses, mulling over the idea, “But… if we practice a little, it can’t go too bad.” he muses, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

At this, Felix finally puts down his game. “Horrible idea. Absolutely horrible. Don’t even think about calling him over.”

“What? Why not?”

“Like you said, he can’t lie for shit. And he’s never even dated anyone before, so he wouldn’t know what to do. The whole thing’ll go up in flames if you take him. Simple as that.” Felix speaks a little too quickly, a little too defensively. Sylvain has half a mind to question him on it. Instead, he decides to tease, naturally.

“You’re right. Our poor little Dima has never known romance. Not since you turned him down in college. Broke his big, fragile heart.” Sylvain dramatically throws his arm across his forehead in faux despair.

“That’s _not_ how it happened! And it has nothing to do with that. At all.” Felix humphs, glaring daggers at his roommate.

“Relax, relax; I’m just messing around. Mostly. He _was_ upset about that for a while, but he’s past all that!. Besides, you two are closer than ever, now! Closer than I’ve ever been with him.” There’s something about that admission that bothers Sylvain; although, he’s not sure why. He elects to ignore it.

“Yeah, close enough for me to know that him going is a bad idea.”

“Oh, c’mon Felix!” Sylvain whines. “It’s not like I’m gonna do anything bad. And he could totally use a vacation; you can’t deny that.”

Felix stares at him for a few moments, his expression hard, and yet, indecipherable. “Fine. I’ll talk to Dimitri about it.” Sylvain gives him a confused glance. “Yeah, _I’m_ asking him for you. You’d just fluster him and he’d ghost you all week.”

Sylvain purses his lips for a second. “Fair point,” he concedes.

“I’ll be back,” Felix grumbles as he stands up, pulling his phone out. He walks into his room to make the call.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, there’s hard knocking on their door. Sylvain rushes to open it—fearing for the fate of their damage deposit if Dimitri breaks _another_ door—to see a flushed Dimitri, breathing hard.

“Did you run here?!”

“Dedue has the car.” he says, voice raspy.

“As if you can even drive,” Felix shouts from the couch.

“Jesus, dude. Go sit down while I get you some water,” Sylvain ushers him inside, ignoring his roommate’s comment.

Dimitri passes through the doorway, silent aside from the huffs of breath escaping his mouth. Sylvain can already hear the playful bickering from the living room begin.

He slowly closes the front door, trying and failing to ignore the image of Dimitri panting, face flushed pink.

 _I wonder if that’s how he looks in be—_ ”Nope! Nuh uh! Not gonna get into that,” Sylvain vocally interrupts his own thoughts.

“Stupid dry spell,” he mutters to himself as he turns to head toward the living room.

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes! 
> 
> 1) Roommates/living arrangements are:  
> Felix-Sylvain  
> Ingrid-Dorothea  
> Mercedes-Annete  
> Dedue-Ashe-Dimitri
> 
> 2) Dimitri still has an eyepatch! But in this world he got it in the incident that his family/Glenn died in, which happens when they are pre-time skip age. We'll dig into that in later chapters.
> 
> 3) Speaking of The Tragedy's equivalent, it led to Felix and DImitri having a falling out. Them drifting apart and reconciling aren't quite delved into (or at least, as of yet there are no plans to do so), but after they became close again in college, Dimitri tried asking Felix out, but Felix felt like they weren't ready for a relationship, despite liking him back. Eventually, they settled into a the emotionally intimate yet platonic connection that they have now. They tell each other everything, and Felix is very protective of Dimitri. Quite frankly, this is my Dimilix brainworms invading a Dimivain fic.
> 
> Those are all the notes for now! Hmu at my tumblr [ghostextremist](https://ghostextremist.tumblr.com) or my twitter [@tomatoextremist](https://twitter.com/tomatoextremist)!


End file.
